Guest post by Farnoush Davoudi, mother of an Autistic girl.
This year, something big happened in my family: my teenage daughter, who isn’t ready for air travel, was finally ready to be away from me for two whole weeks. So, I celebrated this milestone by taking a solo trip to my home country after nine years!
That 20-hour journey gave me plenty of time to reflect on the path I’ve taken since deciding to move to Canada. Looking back, I’ve worn many hats, but none have shaped me more than being an immigrant parent to a child with autism.
Like all parents raising kids on the autism spectrum, I face daily ups and downs—managing routines, advocating for my kid, celebrating progress, and bracing myself for the harder days. But when you’re also an immigrant? The challenges multiply. You’re not just figuring out your child’s needs—you’re also trying to integrate into a new society. You need to learn about a whole new culture, system, and way of life. There are language barriers, unfamiliar services, cultural differences—and yes, cultural bias too.
These challenges can create a heavy mix of frustration, confusion, and sometimes deep isolation. They don’t have simple fixes, and addressing them requires real, systemic change. But I decided to share some of the thoughts and lessons I’ve gathered along the way, as an immigrant autism parent, hoping they bring you a bit of clarity—and a lot of encouragement.
Bilingual at Home: Help or Hindrance?
For most immigrant families, raising bilingual children happens naturally. But when you’re raising a child on the spectrum, things can suddenly feel less straightforward, and questions start to creep in:
Do we need an “English only” rule at home?
Is using our first language part of the reason for my child’s speech delay?
What if we don’t find a behavior interventionist (BI) who knows our first language?
Here’s some reassuring news: research shows that speaking more than one language at home does not harm children with autism. So, if your home language brings comfort, culture, and connection, keep using it! You’re not holding your child back. You’re enriching their world.
Just like neurotypical children, every Autistic child’s journey to bilingualism is unique and full of fascinating moments. In our case, during the first few months after moving to Canada, my daughter made a clear distinction between our two languages. She decided that our home language was for love and comfort, while English was for instructions. If we wanted her to listen or follow directions, we had to switch to English!
When it comes to your child’s BI, having someone who speaks your first language can make communication much easier, especially for you as a parent. It can help you feel more comfortable asking questions, understanding strategies, and staying involved in your child’s support plan.
However, it’s important to remember that your child is expected to learn and communicate in English, regardless of what other languages their BI may speak. So, while it’s helpful to have a BI who speaks your first language, don’t limit your search to only those individuals. What matters most is finding someone who connects well with your child, understands their needs, and can support them in developing the skills they need.
Learning the System—Backwards and on Your Hands
Navigating the autism system for the first time is tough for any parent. But as an immigrant, it can feel like trying to learn to walk backwards…on your hands. Everything feels upside down. The rules, the paperwork, the way people talk about disability—it’s all unfamiliar. So, if you’ve ever felt like you’re falling short, let me say this clearly: you’re not. The system just wasn’t built with you in mind! With time and support, you’ll get the hang of it and move forward with confidence. Here is what I learned:
One thing that can ease your path is getting organized. Keep a master binder or digital folder where you store all important documents—assessments, funding letters, school reports—and a simple list of “who does what” across your child’s support team.
You are going to repeat your child’s history many times as you move between services. To save your time and energy, create a one-page summary that includes your child’s diagnosis, strengths, needs, current services, and goals. You can hand this to new professionals, so you don’t have to start from scratch every time.
And last, but definitely not least: Keep asking until you understand. Never feel embarrassed to say, “Can you explain that again?” or “What does that mean for my child?” You deserve clear information—always.
To be continued….